


Sleeping Scared

by troyiesivanie



Category: troye sivan - Fandom
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sleepy Cuddles, Thunderstorms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 17:52:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11949522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troyiesivanie/pseuds/troyiesivanie
Summary: Based on this prompt: 'we're roommates and we've barely interacted so far but one night there's a thunderstorm and come into your room shaking bc i dont know what else to do and you lull me to sleep by stroking my hair' au





	Sleeping Scared

He'd been skirting around me for weeks, hiding in his room as soon as he'd come home from his job or right after he'd finished dinner. I think he was just scared. He'd moved all the way here from Australia, after only just turning 18. When I was 18 I was still living with my parents back in Minnesota. He's braver than I'll ever be, but he doesn't have any reason to be scared of me.

We'd only met a few weeks ago in person, after talking on online in a chat room for a few months he mentioned the idea of living in LA, talking about his dreams of starting a music career. I immediately told him about my hunt for a new roommate considering the last one was my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend who cheated on me a few months before. He agreed telling me not to try not to get swept off my feet when he arrived. This flirting wasn't uncommon in our conversations, I was only expecting it to be the same when he got here and considering we got on so well online. I was expecting us to hit it off right away. I had picked him up from the airport, I remember as I watched his beautiful figure walk out of the gates and look around quickly. My eyes watched him closely not missing the way he pressed his hands together nervously. His eyes met mine from across the room and I smiled wildly, gesturing him over. He gave me a small smile back and walked across to me weaving though the people slowly, taking his time. I greeted him warmly and was met with a shy hello and I knew this wasn't the same guy I had fallen for online. We still got along well even if we didn't see each other much. We bonded over our love of good pop music and would often sit in the lounge room together listening and lying on the couches, only speaking occasionally to comment on the song. Other than those times together we rarely spoke. I miss our old conversions where my fingers would fly across the keyboard eager to keep talking all night long. Things are different now, it seems he's just scared of me in person, scared of my presence and my words, just a kid in a big adult world. I have to keep reminding myself to take it slow, he'll come out of his shell soon enough.

It was Tuesday, I'd had the biggest day at work, and some guy actually sliced his finger off. I shivered to myself not wanting to relive the grossness I saw. It was raining outside, unusual for this time of year. I wonder how he felt about it, this was the first time he'd seen rain in LA. It must surprise him how excited people get over it. I put my coat up on the rack and looked into the living room. He was there petting my cat, calming her down from the noise of the rain. This was a little shocking to me, Pre hasn't shown any affection towards him since he rocked up but there they are cuddled up on the couch together. I smiled at the sight resisting the urge to take a photo of the cute moment, I can't help it I'm just a photographer at heart. He looks up to me and sends me a small smile, I smile back and head into the kitchen to make dinner and relax a bit after all the craziness at work. I end up heating up some of his leftovers I found in the fridge, it seems he had already eaten some sort of butter chicken curry, he likes those a lot. Also with mac and cheese which he insists on putting tomato sauce on. My food choices have adapted though, considering we share our food. He's gotten me into avocado and I got him more into coffee. Which I know from our almost silent breakfasts together, we know now to leave him in charge of the food and me in charge of the drinks after we both failed when we first started having breakfast together. My meal is followed by a quick shower and I head into my little office to answer some emails that have been sent through regarding today. There'll be so much paperwork to fill out after the finger incident.

An hour later I'm still hunched over the computer filling out what feels like the 100th form that day. I give up when I start to feel myself falling asleep on top of the keyboard, the keys leaving little dents in my face. I shut down my computer and pick up the coffee cups from the table, intending on cleaning them in the morning, I'm way too tired now even after three cups. I shuffle my feet though the lounge room, looking up to see him still in the same spot with Pre, listening to music in his headphones. This surprises me considering by this time he's usually receded into his bedroom away from me, he looks comfortable where he is, looking out to the rain gently pattering on the window next to him. He glances over to me when I walk through the room again off to my room. I send him a small smile and a nod, my little way of saying goodnight. He sends me a sad smile back before looking back out the window. I frown at this, aware now that something must be troubling him. I go to say something only to stop myself, he's never reached out to me before why would he want my help now. I take one more glance at him still wishing I could take a photo, since he's lying almost posed in this low lighting waiting to be photographed. I won't lie this isn't the first time I've dreamed of being his personal photographer before. I want to photograph every detail of him, his hands across a table, his jaw as he chews, his curly hair blowing in the wind on the beach with the soft glow of the sunset in the backdrop. His features beg a photo to be taken, even when he sadly looks out to the rain pouring down the window. I glance at him one more time before turning into my room, ready to sleep after this long day.

My body tosses and turns shifting around in the sheets for what feels like hours. Sleep just won't come to me after I was rudely awakened by the storm. During the last storm like this my ex was still here and we held together listening to the shaking of the windows, the howl of the wind, the rumbling thunder and patter of rain on the roof. I use to love storms when we were still together, I protected him from the raging storm outside, and we made our home here huddled together. I gave up letting sleep find me and lay back on the bed staring at the blank ceiling, staring at my blank walls. My life felt blank without him here. All alone in my bed no one to hold, I looked over to the door as I heard a slight creaking sound as it opened, a small streak of light running from the door and up the wall. In the light a small shadow appeared, cautiously putting more of the light out on the wall as it entered the room. I sat up in my bed wondering who it was, was it just Pre sneaking in? As the shadow grew I knew it couldn't be Pre, Pre wasn't the shape of an 18-year-old Australian boy.

"Connor?" The shadow whispered to me, a sound I almost couldn't hear over the sounds of the storm raging on outside.

"Yes," I replied back softly, sitting more up in bed, still confused as to why he was here in my room calling to me at this time of night. He edged more into the room until he was not just a head in the side of the door but a full body. His face still shadowed by the soft light from behind him making him look like a perfect silhouette. I again longed for my camera to capture his beauty.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he whispers back and then do I notice the slight shakiness in his voice and the way his hands grip tightly to the bottom of his shirt and his body trembles only slightly. His face comes more into focus now that my eyes adjust to the light and I notice he has his eyes shut tight and mouth trembles as if fighting off more scared words to say that are stuck on his tongue. A memory pops into my head of his sad face looking out the window earlier.

"Is there something wrong? Are you okay?" I ask in a soft voice hoping for his words to flow free from his mouth, to let me know how I could take the frown off his face and pull his hands away from his shirt to and let him know everything is okay. He lets out a small sigh, dropping his hands and turning his face away from mine.

"Actually I'm just being stupid, sorry for coming in here," he turns back to grip to edge of the door, ready to walk out the door. My heart clenches knowing I can't just let him leave when he obviously needs someone to talk to.

"Wait," I say, seeing him halt his actions I continue, "Whatever it is that's bothering you, you can tell me, I'm always here to talk no matter how stupid you think the problem is." He seems to consider this in his body language as if deciding my offer is truthful, sitting on the fence of telling me or giving up and walking out the door. He seems stuck in this limbo for quite a while, until I noticed as his shoulders tensed at light flashing though my windows followed by the sound of loud thunder rumbling. At this he turned back to face me, his eyes frantically looking towards the window where the light had flashed though.

"I have a fear of storms," he says in an even softer whisper than before that I wouldn't have heard if I wasn't paying close attention to the way his lips moved. I raise my eyebrows up in surprise at this as I was expecting something completely different.

"Back in Australia whenever there was a big storm I would always go sleep in my little brothers room, now I'm here in LA and I don't know what I was thinking, but my feet carried me to the door of your room and I sound so silly right now, sorry," I furrow my brows at his little ramble, not thinking he sounded silly at all. More relived he told me his struggles instead of facing his fears alone.

"Everyone's afraid of something. I'm still scared of the monsters under the bed," I say hoping to cheer him up a little bit. He sends me a small smile, finally looking up from the ground. His fearful eyes meet mine and we share a moment lost in each other's eyes. It only lasts a second until another flash of lightning fills the room. His body goes into momentary panic as he clutches his arms tightly around his body and his eyes close tightly again.

"I don't know what I was thinking coming into your room, you're just the only person I have right now," his voice still soft and slightly trembly, it breaks my little heart. An idea pops into my head, I lift up the side of my blankets and shift over.

"Come join me, maybe being in my bed will help like being in your little brothers room helps you," he looks at me for a moment considering my offer, he seems to want to take the other option of declining like he wanted to before until the lighting flashes again, the soft light from behind him flickers and dies, the power has gone out. We're plunged into darkness, no longer the light of street lights coming in from the windows or the soft light from the room outside of mine or even the flashing of my phone charger light in the corner of the room. Total darkness. I hear the soft patter of feet on my carpet and feel a hand press into the side of the bed, followed by the bed dipping as he climbs in beside me. I shift over to give him more room and drop the blanket onto his trembling body. I frown, slightly annoyed I can't see his facial expressions now with no light, but I can feel the heat of his body on my arm at this close proximity and hear his fast breathing faintly over the sound of the rain still pelting down on the roof. Moments later when yet again the lightning flickers around the room from the storm outside I can hear a small whimper from beside me. My heart clenches at this sound wishing he wasn't scared. My hand unconsciously reaches over to him, and entwines our fingers on instinct, squeezing it twice, something I would have done to my ex, it was our way of saying I love you without saying I love you. Only when I squeeze his hand do I remember that he is not my ex and I go to pull my hand away. Only he grips onto it and squeezes once back, and I notice he is trembling just a little less.

"Thank you Connor," he says even softer if that's possible, I can only hear as his mouth is inches from my ears. I breathe a small sigh of relief in this moment, happy I haven't messes up something between us. The rain seems to subside outside with this, happy that he isn't stood in my doorway trembling with fear, and is now lying next to me hands intertwined still scared but not alone. With that thought, exhaustion takes over and I drift into a more peaceful sleep.

The sleep doesn't last long; it's only 10 minutes that I feel someone gripping my hand tightly. I open my eyes to total darkness still filling my room, signalling its still nighttime. I wake up a little more when the hand lets go. I wake up a little a little more, remembering the boy that joined me in my bed because of the storm, the storm that had started up again. I quickly turn to him, looking at him in the light of the moon that had peeked out from the clouds that lit up my bed just enough to see him huddled up, the blankets bunched up to his chin, trembling with tear streaks down his cheeks. A soft sob escaped from his lips when the thunder sounds rumbled even louder than before. I let my instincts take over in my half sleeping state; tore the blankets out of his hand, putting my arms around his body, wrapping myself around him and putting the blanket back over us together. One arm under him around his chest, the other on top with my hand messed into his hair, patting it down softly. Even our legs ended up tangled together as I began to make gentle shushing sounds into his ear.

"You're okay, I've got you," I whisper into his ear, his trembling subsiding and his sobs calming down. Only now do I realise I'm cuddling him which is a slightly weird thing to do considering we've only known each other for a few months, but he makes no effort to move away and I feel thankful as I feel so comfortable wrapped around him like this. He stops crying altogether and snuggles more into our embrace. This is how I imagined us to be. Cuddled together from our first night, I always thought we'd fit together. We're like to halves of one heart, stuck together like a puzzle and fitting in together. Once his breathing slows and I know he's asleep I loosen my grip just slightly and still the movements of my hand in his hair. Who would have known that this storm would bring us together like this? I listen to the rumble of the thunder continuing outside now calming me down, there's nothing to be scared of. Before I drift into sleep myself I whisper my last thought aloud.

"I've got you Troye, and don't worry I won't let go."


End file.
